Monday, December 2, 2013

How To Be Ridiculously Good Looking In Every Picture

Do you ever look at pictures of yourself and think:

"Wow, I don't remember being quite that ugly that day"


"When did I grow a third chin?!"

Some people blame it on not being photogenic, and granted, some are inherently more photogenic than others...but that's why we all need to PRACTICE!

Just follow my simple rules to practicing your posing:

1. Never let anyone catch you practicing in the's embarrassing, trust me. 

2. Teach your friends/significant others to always take a picture angled down. Not only will it hide any double chin, but it's also a great party trick to say..."look what I taught them!"

3. When posing with groups, get in the middle!! Never let them stick you on an end. Your skinny friends will bitch about always having to be the end, but you don't really feel bad for them, do you?!

4. When locked safely in the bathroom when no one is home, practice your smile. Don't go full cheese and head on...give yourself a little downward tilt of the chin while still keeping a long neck. It's important to practice this one because there is a fine line between perfection and creepy. 

5. Wipe your face girl!! No one wants to look at a picture of an oily, sweaty mess. Dab it down, especially if you have been out dancing...or simply live in Florida.

6. Master your ugly face. It is inevitable that some one will insist on taking a 'goofy picture' you need to be prepared for such an emergency. I like to go to my patented GRR face. I've been using it since 2001 and it hasn't failed me yet. 

Ok...maybe I use that one a little too much...

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