Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Are you an annoying Facebooker?

Before I begin my rant I must show you the greatest find in human history. I was just moseying through Target and BEHOLD...they have UNICORN SALT & PEPPER SHAKERS!! Clearly I now own these.
But I digress...I spend a lot of time on the computer working playing on Facebook so I get to see it all. Here's my take on what makes you an annoying Facebooker:

1. The Meteorologist
This especially holds true today, when it is unusually cold out due to a polar vortex. I'm not exactly sure what a polar vortex is but I'm picturing something like Sharknado but with polar bears. Oh, it's cold out? Thank you for letting me know fellow Facebooker...I do not watch the news nor am I able to step outside myself, thus I had no idea....

2. The Gym Bragger
Oh, you went to the gym today? Better put it on Facebook or all of those calories you lost will come running back. I would check into the gym also...if there was a bar named "The Gym".

3. The Master Chef
Did you cook your own meal? Or perhaps you are at a restaurant and the chef prepared a visually stunning dish. Better post that sh*t on Facebook. The world must know!!

4. Passive Aggressive Pussy Cats
If you have beef with someone and feel the need to post about it on your online diary Facebook page, then at least tag the person you are talking about. It makes your post 100 times more interesting and you will be sure to get at least 5 new friend requests  from people who have heard about your ranting and now want to watch the sh*t show first hand.

5. The Negative Narcissist
We all have that one friend who posts selfies of herself in the bathroom followed by the comment "I look fat in this dress" or "Such a bad hair day". Yes sweetie...you look like crap today, that's why you are posting a picture for all of the world to see and then tell you how great you look. Get over yourself.

End rant. What annoys you on Facebook?

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